By Tunde Akanbi
Two years may have passed since you departed this world, my dear sister, but to me and my siblings, your absence still feels like a painful dream from which we are yet to awaken.
There are moments when I still expect your familiar morning calls, asking after home, my children and the well-being of everyone around me. Whenever I send early morning prayers to our family platform, I instinctively look forward to your response. I still expect to see your familiar message, but it never comes. Each time, the painful reality of your absence dawns on me all over again.
Sometimes, I find myself wondering how someone so full of life, warmth and affection could suddenly become a memory. Yet, as a Muslim, I find strength in the eternal words of faith:
“Indeed, to Allah we belong, and to Him we will return.” (Qur’an 2:156).
This divine reminder gives me comfort, even as I struggle with the pain of losing someone so dear to my heart.
One memory that remains particularly vivid is my visit to you in Abuja when you took ill shortly after a successful business trip to China. I spent two days with you by your hospital bed, hoping and praying for your recovery. When it was time to leave, you bade me farewell. Little did I know that it would be the last time I would see you alive. How could I have imagined that an ordinary goodbye would become a lifetime memory?
I will remain eternally grateful to our late mother, Falila Ajibike Okandeji Akanbi, whose insistence that I visit you, Mummy Biola, Mummy Kola and Mummy Olaitan in Abuja gave me that precious opportunity. Though the circumstances were painful, I thank Allah that I had those final moments with my beloved sister. It is a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life.
The news of your passing remains one of the most devastating moments of my life. It was your loving husband, Admiral Ola Sa’ad Ibrahim, DSS, psc, fcds, fwc, a prince of the Fagba Compound,Shitta Oroganloye Ruling house of Sheikh Alimi Dynasty in Ilorin and former Chief of Defence Staff of Nigeria, who broke the heartbreaking news to me in the early hours of November 6, 2024.
His words were simple but devastating: “Alhaji, Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.”
I was shattered. You and your husband shared an extraordinary bond. You were inseparable, almost like twins, united by a love and companionship that was evident to everyone around you. I can only imagine the depth of his loss. May Almighty Allah continue to strengthen and uphold him, Daddy Biola, as he carries the weight of your absence.
You were more than a sister; you were a pillar, a benefactor and a life-changing blessing to our family.
As the only son of our parents, I can say without hesitation that you played an extraordinary role in shaping my life. You took it upon yourself to guide, support and encourage me. Your interventions changed my life for the better in ways I can never fully repay. You were not just a sister who cared; you were a woman who made sacrifices, offered direction and stood firmly behind her family without seeking recognition.
Even in death, I remain profoundly grateful to you. You were our pillar, our strength and, in many ways, everything to us. The vacuum you left is immeasurable.
Your love, however, was never restricted to family. You had an uncommon capacity to embrace people, irrespective of their background, religion, ethnicity or social standing. You were generous without discrimination, compassionate without reservation and kind almost to a fault.
It is little wonder that the dynamic youths of the Ori Okoh Development Association affectionately nicknamed you Iya Ewe. The name reflected your genuine passion for young people, your generosity towards them and your unwavering commitment to their welfare. You believed in people, supported their aspirations and gave freely, without asking where they came from or what they could offer in return.
You were a friend to many, a confidante to those who needed someone to lean on and a source of warmth wherever you found yourself. Your infectious laughter, welcoming disposition and genuine concern for others made you a special presence in every gathering. You did not merely enter a room; you brought warmth into it.
We thought we had more time. More conversations to share, more family moments to enjoy, more plans to execute and more memories to create. We never imagined that death would interrupt the beautiful story we were still writing together.
Today, the pain of losing you remains, but so does the gratitude for the life you lived and the countless acts of kindness you left behind. Your legacy is not defined by the day you departed, but by the many lives you touched, the people you lifted and the love you planted in the hearts of those who knew you.
My dear sister, Modupe, Amina, Abio, Mummy Biola, Iya Ewe, Ibrahim I still find it difficult to believe that you are gone. I miss your calls, your prayers, your laughter, your counsel and the reassurance that came simply from knowing you were there.
I once thought I could not live without having you around, but today I understand just how difficult it is to live with the reality of your absence.
Until the day I can remember you without tears, I will continue to hold tightly to the beautiful memories we shared. I will remember your generosity, your sacrifices, your motherly affection and the fierce love with which you embraced your family and everyone around you.
Your departure may have taken you away from our sight, but it can never erase the footprints you left on our hearts. The love you gave us will remain a permanent part of our story, and your good deeds will continue to speak long after your passing.
My beautiful and beloved sister, your death remains a tragedy, but your life was a blessing to us all. You were a sister by birth, a mother by disposition, a pillar by responsibility and a priceless gift whose value we may never fully comprehend.
As I reflect on your life and pray for the eternal repose of your soul, I draw comfort from the beautiful words of Almighty Allah in Surah Al-Fajr:
“O reassured soul, return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing to Him. Then enter among My servants, and enter My Paradise.” (Qur’an 89:27–30).
These words remind us of the mercy and promise of our Creator. We pray that Almighty Allah, in His infinite mercy, grants you the honour of being among the righteous souls welcomed into Al-Jannah.
May Almighty Allah forgive your shortcomings, illuminate your grave, accept your good deeds and grant you Al-Jannatul Firdaus. May He also grant your beloved husband, children, siblings and the entire family the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss.
Sleep peacefully, my beautiful and beloved sister.
You are gone, but you will never be forgotten.
Good night, my dearest sister.
Adieu. Adieu. Adieu.
Tunde Akanbi (the Journalist) writes from Ilorin, Kwara State, Nigeria
Tundeakanbibabby@yahoo.co.uk
